Holy Crap

Thursday, April 3, 2014
Hi everyone! It has been a while! I've been working hard to try to get into a good rhythm with being back at work and taking care of everything at home. The balance is tough to find! I'm guessing it's one of those things that takes time.
Or maybe it's all an illusion and the current circus of which I am the ring leader, is the new normal.

I like circuses. Well, except for all of the elephant shit that has to be cleaned up.

Anyway, last night was the worst night I've had in a LONG time...and it had absolutely nothing to so with a frequent waking tiny person.
I was reading the Wonder Weeks app during the evening, just  checking out what to expect for Aria's next leap. It isn't for about another month. One of the experiences she will have during this leap is that she will have nightmares. First of all…that's so sad. Second of all…reading that must have touched something in my brain because I had two awful nightmares last night!!!

I had not one, but TWO dreams that I died. In the first one I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and some sadistic man stabbed me in the head a bunch of times. Awesome.
Somehow it didn't kill me immediately. I had time to register the fact that I would never see my little girl grow up, and that I would never see my husband again. Then I started feeling different parts of my body fail. Finally my lungs started failing. It was long, slow and heartbreaking.

I woke up and it was 3:30 am.

I went back to sleep only to dream that I was in the pool training with a swim group and I got knocked on the head and everything went black. Then I was suddenly drowning.

I woke up and it was 5:00 am.

What the hell is going on???!!!!

I'm so rattled this morning! And I'm definitely a little leery of going to sleep tonight!


In an attempt to turn this around…here is a happy St. Patty's Day Aria.


Happy Thursday!

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2 comments:

  1. I hate dreams like that, the ones that leave you feeling really unsettled. At least you had that beautiful baby to wake up to. =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Always pray for a sound and safe sleep

    ReplyDelete

 
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