This week was my first time back on the mat after giving birth to Zoe. It felt so good. I did some gentle yoga and some diaphragmatic breathing to begin to reactivate my core.
In 3 short weeks I'm hoping to be cleared for exercise. As the date approaches, I'm realizing that it's going to a lot tougher than it was last time around.
I keep having to remind myself that I had major surgery. Not because I don't feel like I have. Trust me, I am fully, physically aware that my abdomen was cut open. I still have to roll to one side to comfortably get up from a laying position.
But because I'm just so eager to get back to training. I miss challenging my mind and body physically.
This pregnancy was challenging because of the training related pelvic injury I was dealing with from before I got pregnant. And this birth expereince was challenging because it was major surgery, which left me completely helpless. THAT was something I was not prepared for.
I can't help but wonder if these experiences are my body's way of making sure that I slow down and take time to really heal and reconnect with my body.
Like many people, I always look for meaning in things that happen that are out of our control. I keep thinking back to the past few years of training and how hard I've pushed myself and how I've been disappointed in myself when I wasn't doing/being as fast or as strong as I know I'm capable of. I wonder if this was all a hard lesson that I had to learn about slowing down, appreciating my body and embracing the journey.
Don't get me wrong. I appreciate and love that need and that drive to train hard, race hard, and push, push, push to the limits. I lived in that place for a long time and it was home. And I'm not saying I won't be there again. I'm fairly certain I will. The fire is still burning. However, I feel that this is an opportunity and I should take it.
Since I'm literally starting at square one this time around, as I have zero strength in my core and am very disconnected from it, I am feeling this opportunity to be able to start over and start new. Similar to the feeling of New Years. I'm feeling like this is a chance to reconnect and rebuild my strength from the ground up, using all of the knowledge and expereince I have gained over the past 10 years of racing, training and coaching.
I feel excited to embrace this new body that has been through 2 beautiful births, and make it even stronger and more fierce.
For race season is coming...
Have you ever experienced a long road to get your strength back?
How has your body changed after birth?
I feel that I'm a lot more aware and a lot tougher than I used to be.